Self-empowerment tips for healthy living

When we are faced with a limiting health issue where performing "simple" everyday activities becomes a challenge, our self-confidence and self-worth can dwindle. This can happen with any health condition or injury, but is especially prevalent with a chronic health issue. It is always there to remind us that we have to work a lot harder to perform tasks that were once so easy. This can get downright exhausting and overwhelming to the point where we might feel much less of a person than we once were.

In my case, I live with a painful neurological disorder called dystonia. I have had it for over 15 years and it has altered the course of my life in many ways. Given the nature of this disorder where the main symptoms are involuntary body movements and chronic pain, it can feel like an outside force is controlling my body. This is very unsettling, which can lead to a sense of helplessness and a decreased feeling of competence. Those of us living with dystonia (and any other chronic condition) have to work very hard to combat these problems on a daily basis. Below are some ideas to help you feel more empowered.

Remember that you are the only one with unique knowledge about your condition and how it affects your life. You are the one who can and should make the major decisions about your life. Only you know how you feel at any given time, what you are capable of, and what your limitations are. Don’t allow feelings of guilt push you into doing something you know your body will pay for, either during or afterwards.

Be careful to not compare yourself to others. No one is better than you. We are all unique and everyone has lived a very different life. We cannot completely duplicate the success of another person because we all take different paths to get where we are. Concentrate on strengthening your own skills and abilities. Be proud of your accomplishments and acknowledge how well you are doing in the face of great challenges.

Prioritize. On your best days you may find you can do more things with relative ease. Other days, a single task might wipe you out for the rest of the day or even several days thereafter. Plan ahead so you can prepare yourself prior to an activity and rest time afterwards if necessary.

Be careful about being a people pleaser. It often means jeopardizing your health for the sake of others, an attribute that may have and may continue to contribute to your symptoms. Do what you can and know your limitations. Others can adapt to you.

Be sure to find doctors you can trust. This is often a difficult task. Dystonia and other conditions are often misunderstood, making it hard to find the right doctor who understands your specific needs, so it might take some shopping around. To assist in this process, educate yourself as much as possible about your condition so you are able to screen your health care team. I wasn’t educated nearly enough in the beginning and I paid the price because some of the doctors I saw didn't know what they were doing and made me worse.

Don’t forget that your doctor works for you. Don’t let their busy schedule force you out of the office before you feel he or she has met all your needs. Your doctor is there to serve you; not the other way around. Together, you and your doctor can map out the best plan for your care.

Take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, and choices. We are responsible for how we feel about everything that goes on in our lives; not other people.

Advocate for yourself and for others. Learn as much as you can about your health condition so you can make the best choices for your personal well being. Share with others what you learn to help them make smart choices. It is also important to be educated so we understand and are comfortable with the different treatments our doctors propose. Advocate by talking to people about your health condition to raise awareness. Reach out and lend a helping hand to someone who is struggling, write a blog, articles for various online magazines, get involved with organizations and support groups, and get active on social media. Raising general awareness about your health conditon and directly helping others is a big part of personal healing and self-empowerment.

Take personal time for yourself, whether to relax or have fun. Don’t forget how important it is to let go and enjoy life. It is far healthier to focus on all you can do versus all the things you can’t do or choose not to do. Dwelling on problems can make you forget how to have fun. There is joy all around you and there are ways to let go of fear and anxiety, and other problems associated with any health condition.

If you are well enough, take a walk in the park, go to a movie, concert, play, or sporting event. Treat yourself to a massage or other way of pampering yourself. Remove toxic people from your life. Do whatever you can to create peace in your life. You deserve it!

Learn how to ask for help without guilt. We all need help. Let someone else take care of cleaning the house or shopping. Let friends or family members take care of your kids every now and then so you can get some rest. When you feel well enough, pay the favor forward.

Dystonia and most other chronic conditions are survivable. You can still have a quality life regardless of your symptoms. Do whatever it takes to make it work. You can get through the hard times and come out on top. Just keep in mind what’s really important in your life and then go for the fullest life possible. It’s yours to live, one day at a time.

Tom Seaman is a Certified Professional Life Coach in the area of health and wellness, and author of the book, Diagnosis Dystonia: Navigating the Journey, a comprehensive resource for anyone suffering with any life challenge. He is also a motivational speaker, chronic pain and dystonia awareness advocate, health blogger, and volunteers for the Dystonia Medical Research Foundation (DMRF) as a support group leader, for WEGO Health as a patient expert panelist, and is a member and writer for Chronic Illness Bloggers Network. To learn more about Tom’s coaching practice and get a copy of his book, visit www.tomseamancoaching.com. Follow him on Twitter @Dystoniabook1 and Instagram

Understanding and coping with anxiety

I think most of us would agree that anxiety is quite common among the dystonia population. It is not a feature or symptom of dystonia, but given the major changes that often take place in one’s life when dystonia intervenes, anxiety can become an issue. Fear not though, for it can be managed.

Dystonia is a very confusing health condition to live with. There are many unknowns about the present and future which can cause worry and fear. Also, looking and feeling different than the average person (and our former selves, sometimes to the point where we don’t recognize who we are anymore) can make us angry, self-conscious, and depressed; all of which are fuel for anxiety.

Further, if we have doctors and people close to us who don’t listen or understand what we are going through, or write us off as hypochondriacs, this can cause guilt and shame, adding to the internal chaos we already experience from the mental and physical pain. With all of this going on, it is no wonder anxiety is so common!

I know all too well what anxiety is like. It was so bad for me at one point that it took every ounce of courage to leave my house. One of my former triggers for anxiety and panic attacks was driving, even very close to my home. To read more about this and how I overcame it, please see my article in The Mighty.

So what exactly is anxiety?

Anxiety is the apprehension, uncertainty, and fear one feels when anticipating a threatening event or situation, whether the threat is real or imagined. It is often accompanied by restlessness, problems concentrating, muscle tension, and fatigue. Put simply, anxiety is an unpleasant state of inner turmoil. Panic attacks often accompany an anxious, stress filled life. You can read more about anxiety and panic attacks in my book, Diagnosis Dystonia: Navigating the Journey.

Anxiety is actually a normal, instinctive and automatic human emotion that everyone experiences at times. It is a temporary call to action to fight or flee to keep us safe in the face of danger. When worry and fear are constant, a person is caught in fight or flight mode, which can be crippling. The most seemingly harmless stimuli, thought, event, etc., can be overwhelming for this person, making it feel impossible for their brain to slow down so they can genuinely enjoy their life.

The key to switching out of an anxiety state is to fully experience and accept all the uncomfortable feelings, and allow time for them to pass. Let them come. Let yourself feel all of it. Breathe and let your rational mind enter. Speak to your anxious thoughts with that rational mind, understanding that these are just harmless thoughts that have no meaning other than what we choose to give them. Just let them come and let them go.

From personal experience, this is SO MUCH easier said than done which is why letting go needs to be a daily practice with steadfast dedication. Changing our mindset involves small, repeated steps. Each step builds on the one before it, and this takes time. Be okay with this. There is no rush. Remember that your mind has been doing what it has for a while and it will take time to unlearn its habits. Be patient.

A tool I find very helpful is called AWARE, an acronym for dealing with anxiety from the book, Anxiety Disorders and Phobias: A Cognitive Perspective, by Aaron Beck and Gary Emery.

A: Accept the anxiety. Welcome it. Don’t fight it. Replace your rejection, anger, and hatred of it with acceptance. By resisting, you are prolonging the unpleasantness of it. Instead, flow with it. Don’t make it responsible for how you think, feel, and act.

W: Watch and Wait. Look at your anxiety without judgment. It’s neither good nor bad. Become detached from it. Remind yourself that you are not your anxiety. The more you can separate yourself from the experience, the more you can view it as a third party observer.

Even though there is a powerful urge to run away to try and escape anxious situations, postpone that decision for a little bit. Stay in the situation. Don’t tell yourself you can’t leave. Keep that option open so you don’t feel trapped, but remember that you don’t need to run away to get relief. Let relief come to you.

A: Act with the anxiety. Act as if you aren’t anxious. Function with it. Slow down if you have to, but keep going. Breathe normally. If you run from the situation your anxiety will go down, but your fear will go up. If you stay, both your anxiety and your fear will eventually go down.

R: Repeat the steps. Continue to accept your anxiety, watch it, and act with it until it goes down to a comfortable level.

E: Expect the best. What we fear rarely happens. Recognize that a certain amount of anxiety is a normal part of life. Understanding this puts you in a good position to accept it if it comes again. You are familiar with it and know what to do with it.

The first several times you try this you might not notice much. Your anxiety may even get worse for a little while. Eventually, the more you practice, the greater your ability to harness the strength of your powerful mind and make it work more in your favor. You will learn that you will always have what it takes and that anxiety is a feeling that comes and goes, just like the weather.

Along with using the AWARE strategy above, coping statements can be very helpful. Check them out at The Anxiety Network. It is also helpful to use affirmations which are described in more detail in this article. You can also take affirmations a step further by asking yourself questions or making declarative statements. This added focus makes them more real and practical. For example, instead of the standard way of stating an affirmation such as, "I am strong", ask, "why am I strong?" or say, "I am strong because..." and list as many things you can think of. Other examples include, "what do I find joyful?" or, "what I find joyful about (blank) is..."; "why am I blessed with great friends?" or, "my friends bless my life in the following ways..." You can write this all out on paper or just let your mind run with it.

Don't ever forget that you are a fighter. You are brave, strong, and resilient, and you have everything you need inside you to deal with anything that might stand in your way!

Tom Seaman is a Certified Professional Life Coach in the area of health and wellness, and author of the book, Diagnosis Dystonia: Navigating the Journey, a comprehensive resource for anyone suffering with any life challenge. He is also a motivational speaker, chronic pain and dystonia awareness advocate, health blogger, and volunteers for the Dystonia Medical Research Foundation (DMRF) as a support group leader, for WEGO Health as a patient expert panelist, and is a member and writer for Chronic Illness Bloggers Network. To learn more about Tom’s coaching practice and get a copy of his book, visit www.tomseamancoaching.com. Follow him on Twitter @Dystoniabook1 and Instagram